Nothing Ever Happens

												
F                               Dm
Post office clerks put up signs saying position closed
F                           Dm
And secretaries turn off typewriters and put on their coats
 Bb          F
Janitors padlock the gates
     Gm          Bb
      C           Bb
For security guards to patrol
     Bb               F
And bachelors phone up their friends for a drink
           Gm             Bb
            C              Bb
While the married ones turn on a chat show
      F             Gm                 F
       F             Bb                 F
And they'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow
(snip)
 F            Bb       F                 Bb
Nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
     Dm            Bb
The needle returns to the start of the song
       C             Bb
And we all sing along like before
          F                Gm                 F
           F                Bb                 F
And we'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

Then before verse 4 there's a wee instrumentally bit over the chords:
Gm  Dm  Gm  Dm  G  F  G  F
Also, there's a second guitar with capo on the 5th fret playing:
Verse:  C Am C Am F C G F C G F (C F C)
Chorus: C F C F Am F G F C F C
Instr:  Dm Am Dm Am D C D C
Hope this is of some use, and not too wrong.

-

F                               Dm
Post office clerks put up signs saying position closed
F                           Dm
And secretaries turn off typewriters and put on their coats
 Bb          F
Janitors padlock the gates
     C          Bb
For security guards to patrol
     Bb               F
And bachelors phone up their friends for a drink
           C             Bb
While the married ones turn on a chat show

      F             Bb                 F
And they'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

Gentlemen time please, you know we can't serve anymore
Now the traffic lights change to stop, when there's nothing to go
And by five o'clock everything's dead
And every third car is a cab
And ignorant people sleep in their bed
Like the doped white mice in the college lab

 F            Bb       F                 Bb
Nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
     Dm            Bb
The needle returns to the start of the song
       C             Bb
And we all sing along like before

          F                Bb                 F
And we'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

Telephone exchanges click while there's nobody there
The Martians could land in the carpark and no one would care
Close-circuit cameras in department stores
Shoot the same movie everyday
And the stars of these films neither die nor get killed
Just survive constant action replay

Nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
The needle returns to the start of the song
And we all sing along like before

And we'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

Bill hoardings advertise products that nobody needs
While angry from Manchester writes to complain about
All the repeats on TV
And computer terminals report some gains
In the values of copper and tin
While American businessmen snap up Van Goghs
For the price of a hospital wing

Nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
The needle returns to the start of the song
And we all sing along like before
Nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
They'll burn down the synagogues at six o'clock
And we'll all go along like before

And we'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

-

tune: normal
capo: 5th fret (Try it without capo or capo at the 3rd fret,
it is easier to sing)
tempo: waltz (hear and count - you will agree)

C                              Am
Verse:		Post office clerks put up signs saying position closed
     C                               Am
And secretaries turn off typewriters and put on their coats
 F            C
Janitors padlock the gates
       G          F
For security guards to patrol
     F                C
And bachelors phone up their friends for a drink
           G              F
While the married ones turn on a chat show
            C                F         G        C
And they'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

C                                Am
Verse:		Gentlemen time please, you know we can't serve anymore
          C                                 Am
Now the traffic lights change to stop, when theres nothing to go
        F                C
And by five o'clock everything's dead
    G            F
And every third car is a cab
     F                C
And ignorant people sleep in their beds
          G              F
Like the doped white mice in the college lab

 C            F      C           F
Chorus:		Nothing ever happens,  nothing happens at all
     Am            F
The needle returns to the start of the song
       G             F
And we all sing along like before
            C                F         G        C
And they'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

C                              Am
Verse:		Telephone exchanges click while there's nobody there
     C                                 Am
The Martians could land in the carpark and no one would care
F                C
Close-circuit cameras in department stores
           G                F
Shoot the same movie every day
          F                  C
And the stars of these films neither die nor get killed
         G           F
Just survive constant action replay

 C            F      C           F
Chorus:		Nothing ever happens,  nothing happens at all
     Am            F
The needle returns to the start of the song
       G             F
And we all sing along like before
            C                F         G        C
And they'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

Bridge:		D C

C                            Am
Verse:		Bill hoardings advertise products that nobody needs
      C
While angry from Mancaster writes to complain about
 Am
All the repeats on TV
    F          C
And computer terminals report some gains
        G          F
On the values of copper and tin
        F           C
While american businessmen snap up Van Goghs
          G         F
For the price of a hospital wing

 C            F      C           F
Chorus:		Nothing ever happens,  nothing happens at all
     Am            F
The needle returns to the start of the song
       G             F
And we all sing along like before
 C            F      C           F
Nothing ever happens,  nothing happens at all
     Am            F
They'll burn down the synagogues at six o'clock
       G           F
And we all go along like before
            C                F         G        C
And they'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

Notes: This song is very easy to play and to sing.
It seems to be a good stuff to learn to change between the basic chords.
In the last verse the second and the third line seems strange to the metre.
Listen carefully to the song. It will be clear if you heard it.